What Planet is this?

Every morning, after walking the dogs, I sit down to peruse the local paper, the Commercial Appeal. I need my daily dose of political shenanigans and corruption. The only difference between today's local politics and that of the twenty years ago is that the majority of the politicians are black instead of white. Now, I'm pretty used to interesting politics as I've experienced the wonders of the Chicago Daily Dynasty, the New Jersey Mafia Majesty and the Marion Barry Boondoggles, but this morning I really had to question whether Memphis is on the same planet as other cities.

Our mayor just won his fifth term in office after 16 years at the helm. So, we know he's surrounded himself and given business to his good "friends". It's part of the perks of office, right? Just ask anyone who grew up here. It seems one of his friends won a technology contract to provide computer services to the city when his company had no experience in the industry. Putting that small flaw aside, it seems that this dude didn't bother to pay one of his subcontractors for about $80,000 worth of work completed for the city. Rather than pay the poor guy, this friend of the mayor's says he doesn't owe the guy and when asked about it (the guy has sued) by the press, he lashes out saying he's only news because he's black. Well, duh, most of the city contractors and employees are black as well as 60% of our population. It's just a fact. It's like you can be incompetent as long as you are black. Maybe that's why Memphis is ranked the 8th most dangerous city in the US.

But let me be fair, it isn't just politics and race that makes me question where I live. On November 15th, the article "Topic too hot for WKNO/ Show on intelligent design didn't air here", PBS NOVA broadcast the highly regarded show "Judgement Day: Intelligent Design on Trial" nationally. This trial clearly and completely put the intelligent design argument to bed and suffocated it with a pillow full of evidence. But, our local station, WKNO chose not to broadcast it on its network channel 10. When asked why not, the response was something to the effect that "we don't want to offend any of our viewers who may disagree with the outcome of the trial." What? That's like saying we won't write about the Holocaust because some people may not believe it happened, despite the evidence.

I can't stop there. It's too special living here. On November 13th, the front page article "Out of the Ordinary/Nail dispatches raccoon" reported that a teacher, in the state just two miles south of my house, was scheduled to teach his biology students how to skin a raccoon. But the farmer brought in the raccoon alive, rather than dead, to the class. The teacher, a right thinking guy, took the raccoon "out back" and killed it with a nail to the head. Then, he hauled it into class and proceeded with the skinning. How many kids really need to know how to skin a raccoon? How many need this as part of their biology curriculum? Is this what tax dollars go for in the name of education? No wonder Mississippi is ranked at the bottom of the pile academically.

Memphis is a very strange place, ladies and gentlemen. GET ME OUT OF HERE!