Heat

Our lives in Memphis have slowed this first August weekend. The hot, humid days that everyone promised have come to pass. The only way we survive is to stay indoors at home, at the office, or at the movies. We opted for movies at home with the dogs.

How hot and humid is it? Why, its so hot and humid that...

• The heat pulls water right out of the fountain as we watch. Evaporation on steroids.
• When I run, even in the early morning, the air presses on my shoulders so hard I've got a stiff neck.
• My body has a perpetual sweaty glow even standing around.
• The mosquitoes don't buzz around my head; they loll around my ankles.
• Fred's so lazy he doesn't raise his leg to pee. Just stands in the grass.
• Our community swimming pool could be mistaken for a community bath tub.
• I burnt the plants because I forgot to let the water run cool before watering the plants.
• The air conditioning has become a perpetual motion machine!

My sister complains about the summer heat and humidity in Florida. But, Florida summer heat can't compare. There ocean breezes cool the shade under the palm trees. In Memphis, there are no cooling ocean breezes. The breezes travel over parched land, not water. They punish us with sharp slaps to the face, instead of caressing us with soft, refreshing licks.

My conclusion is that air conditioning saved the mid-south from becoming irrelevant. Before air conditioning, people moved slowly, drawled their words, and idled at work -- that was not being lazy, it was having the skills to endure this punishing climate for a three months every year.